Want luscious red lips? Pick one of the millions of beauty products on the shelves of department stores everywhere. Or, here’s another idea. You could pull a Cleopatra and make your own lip plumping concoction. All you need are ants, beetle blood, and beeswax. Crush and mix in a bowl, then apply.

You’re out of ants? You could try this other popular mixture of bromine mannite, henna, seaweed, iodine, red clay, and iron oxide (rust). But I should warn you, bromine mannite is very poisonous. Let’s just say you (and your makeout partner) could suffer from a serious or fatal illness.