The case: The jig is up, Lohan, your attempt to hide yourself among that tribe of Oompa Loompas won’t work, we know you’re not naturally orange. Talk about a self-tanner and bronzer bonanza, this is so far beyond a healthy glow that we’re considering getting her tested for jaundice.

The punishment: Lohan must relinquish all bronzers and self-tanners and only come out after sundown — that’ll get her back to her natural pale hue in no time.

The lesson: A quick swipe of bronzer is a great way to warm up your skin and even fake a day at the beach. But any more than that and you just look radioactive.